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“The God that holds you over the pit of hell, much as one holds a spider, or some loathsome insect over the fire, abhors you, and is dreadfully provoked: his wrath towards you burns like fire; he looks upon you as worthy of nothing else, but to be cast into the fire; he is of purer eyes than to bear to have you in his sight; you are ten thousand times more abominable in his eyes, than the most hateful venomous serpent is in ours.”

Jonathan Edwards, Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God

From the dawn of history, religion and anxiety have been intertwined. Read the rest of this entry »

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I have an admission to make. I have not seen a primary care physician in 5 years. As a resident the excuses come easy. Getting the smallest of chores can become a mammoth task in the face of an 80 hour work week. However, the fact remains, the things I really want done, get done, seeing a doctor does not. I even have really good reasons to see a doctor. I have tests that really should be done once every few years. I have had real problems that I have shoved aside, little things here and there that probably should really be checked, but deep down I don’t want to do it. Why is this? Read the rest of this entry »

One of the tried and true nuggets of anti-mormonism is the fact that Utah has the highest per capita rate of prozac use in the country. Why is this, they ask and insinuation is clear. Something must be wrong with that religion. Ooh its beating people down. they’re repressed, look, look, they’re repressed. Here is my answer to such critics, if you want to know who is responsible for high rates of depression in the Mormon community, go take a look in the mirror. Read the rest of this entry »

  As I recovered from depression, I discovered a whole new ailment, anxiety.  One of the first side effects the medication gave me was panic attacks.   I had a lot on my plate, really.  I had to toe the line, with no relapses.  I worried incessantly about the future.  I worried about my patients.  I worried about the rumor mill surrounding me.  I worried about the impressions, fair or otherwise, that others had of me. I worried about stigma. Read the rest of this entry »

  The events surrounding my transition from medical student to MD and resident were a tidal wave.  My education, training, mindset, social phobia, personal life, health all combined into what I can only refer to as the perfect storm.  Read the rest of this entry »

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